Trumplestiltskin is a narcissistic con man. When he heard about Jurassic World, he figured he found himself an easy target. He needed to visit the park in order to scam the park out of millions of dollars and decided to bring along his attorney, Jeffy, because he figured it was the easiest way to get advice from a legal shyster without leaving a paper trail. Luckily for Jurassic World, a team of inquisitive teens visiting the park at the same time as them noticed that two men were acting suspiciously and that some of the things they were doing might just cause harm to the park’s visitors. They gathered evidence of Trumplestiltskin’s and Jeffy’s nefarious tinkering with park attractions and notified park officials. They proceeded to call the police, who arrested them on the spot.

As the two men were dragged away in handcuffs, Trumplestiltskin yelled over his shoulder, “My attorney and I would have tremendously gotten away with bankrupting this theme park if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids!”

Anonymous sources within Trumplestiltskin’s office state that he is planning to hire a public relations expert to repair the damage to his image and improve his approval ratings.

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